'Just be yourself' is an overrated quote. And it does no good.
We can't always show what we're feeling, say what we're thinking. True self is crap and we should act different when it comes to different circumstances.
It is such an unfortunate thing to listen to advices that are based on the concept of trueness. True love, true anything.
We can have more than one love. And it is okay too to have more than one self. Just because you act different, it doesn't mean that you are fake or wrong.
Normalize the idea of having a lot of selves. One that is genuine, another that is assertive. As weird as it sounds, they may contradict each other. However, that can also be a good thing.
Great ideas are born from constant push and pull. We need to believe there's always something around us to be improved. We should go through phases, changes.
Do you notice the bio section that can be found on every social media nowadays? They wanted us to brand ourselves in a certain limitation of characters. Who are we? I'm not sure one could ever really describe themselves correctly (and aesthetically) they way that they really want. Often times, we spend hours to look for ideas, or weeks to keep changing it as we come up with different answers. A list of nouns, a set of adjectives.
Whatever selves we have, it comes from evolution. It never stays the same. It's always morphing.
We tend to see a self as a one-side thing. However, you can never really pin your identity into something. We are this person with our family, another with our friends. The real us does not exist at one given moment. And, you can be some things at once and you are still real.
Another thing that is relevant is that we don't have a self without others. We are social creatures. Parts of us are shaped by who we live our life with — whether we like it or not. Further, parts of our identity depend on how we spend our time with people.
For example, I'm harsh, but this adjective does not mean a shit without a touchstone. I'm also laid back, but lively, and every other thing in between.
People also told me about my personality. Sometimes, they even admitted that their first impression of me was wrong.
I can describe myself as ignorant. My friends told me that ignorant people would bother them more. The main reason of this behavior is that I don't want to mess around. Turned out, that could be the opposite of ignorant. People perceive me as not very ignorant, but composed.
But people can be wrong, too, you know? Our identity lies in the difference between what you know about yourself, and what others put the labels on you.
Go ahead and be mysterious. You don't need to show your real self as nobody does not need to see it either. Things don't make much sense as we live. Justify later.
Some of us mirror gazing. Some others journal, keep gratitude notes, save pictures. Mainly to see what characters we're mostly like. There is nothing bad about that. It's just we are learning about ourselves. Just remember that it is a continuous process and that we shouldn't stop. One day, you'll feel like Spongebob. The next day, you may feel like Squidward (inside jokes)
In finding ourselves, we will never reach the end. You may think you are 'this', but then you will change to 'that' and that is completely acceptable. If one thing could ever likely be true, it is that we're always changing. Our identity slips and slides. It melts through our fingers, but we can ride it as we go. The thing is, we are free for where we would go.
So which self I am now talking to you? Hopefully, the one that is nice.