I watched Aftersun earlier this year. At first, I was skeptical to see it as I thought it would be just some ordinary, cliche drama movie - until it was nominated for Oscar and watching it has left a mark on me. It was a film that left you devastated quietly, but it hurt (and impressed) so good. The ending doesn't have to speak loud volumes to tell us what happened or what fate the characters could have while they're struggling. For me, it was a very relatable masterpiece about memories and mental issues.
Aftersun is one of the most profound movies of 2022. You can't help but feel something along the way. It was so natural and dear, to the point that I thought it was just too good to be true. From the captivating beginning to the heart-wrenching ending, let's discuss it!
(SPOILER ALERT)
About melancholy and Calum
When I started watching the movie, I was convinced that there must be something going on with the male protagonist, Calum (Paul Mescal). It became true, though not obvious, through the many scenes we saw him having hard time communicating, socializing, and simply being there as himself. Whenever he spent his time with his daughter, the reality was felt kinda distorted. The weight of absence of his senses is getting heavy when he had to go interacting by himself, to breaking down alone.
Aftersun is a movie that tells you everything you should know without bluntly saying it. Indeed, it could show far more than it tells.
It's not clearly stated, but heavily implied that Calum has the tendency of having self-destructive behaviors. He is never proclaimed or diagnosed in the movie, but shows so many signs of someone suffering from a mental illness. You may have guessed it that he always hid it from his daughter to portray a good father that he potentially is, but in the moments of solitary, you'll realize his pain, worry, self-loathing, and despair that surround him. I may have to say, too, that this is one of the best portrayals about depression in a movie that I've ever watched.
One gut-punching moment of Calum was when he casually mentioned that he doesn't think of getting into 40, as he was surprised himself that he made it to 30.
His fate isn't confirmed, but the last scene where he disappeared into the rave indicated a detachment from life. Something bad could've happened to him and I guess his life ends in a heartbreaking manner. You'll realize that, this whole time, there's been a lot missing from his life, but mostly, he lost himself. The vacation he had with this daughter was probably the last memory we had of him and the loving father, person that we'd seen on the journey will be gone forever.
About memories and Sophie
It was the final night of their holiday in Turkey, where Calum and his daughter spent it with some ice cream and dancing to "Under Pressure" in their hotel restaurant. This scene has been intertwining Sophie's, Calum's daughter, visualization along the way of the movie about her and her dad in a rave party. She tried to grab to him, but couldn't. At this point, the scene is continuously showing the child and adult Sophie.
Aftersun in a movie about memory. The movie started with adult Sophie watching a recording of her vacation with her dad.
We, then, know from the movie itself that she fully watched them. Many of the scenes were filled with her rave-type situation where she seemed to watch her father. In my opinion, this seems like a longing effort to reach him. The blurry visual and audio represented her fading memories of her father, and also the declining mental health of him. She could only watch him from afar. Him dancing along in a sea of people making it harder for her to get to him. Metaphorically, this could also be a sign of her inability to hold on to the real presence of him as she aged and they became less close.
Each of this dancing scene offers an interesting perspective of the film. If you view it from this lens, the movie remains painfully sad, but it gives tributes to memories: the power of making them and losing them. Memories keep people alive in spirit. Even if it gradually fades along the time, memories keep feelings alive and real.
The final shot of the movie confirms it all. Sophie paused when her dad recording her waving goodbye as they departed. Calum walked away, not going to the real world but instead, to the rave that's always been in Sophie's memory. This is most likely her final active memory of her father.
About aging and Aftersun
We learn that Calum and Sophie are going through the opposite directions towards aging. Throughout the movie, Sophie has always shown interests in growing up. She embraces adulthood with excitement. On the other hand, Calum fears getting older. It is a presumably common fear of the 30's, but he seems to be more haunted. He has many things wrong in his life.
The fear of aging is the arc of this movie, where the adults could only look back and reflect.
We got to see the trip was to celebrate Sophie's birthday, sort of. Then, by the trip ended, Sophie wished her father a happy birthday. They have an unbreakable connection and bound; it almost feels like a cycle.
We were only shown a glimpse of adult Sophie, but she seemed to have grown to a similar age as Calum during their vacation in the past when she celebrated her birthday later. She chose to re-watch the recordings of her and her dad. She started to get into the new phase of life by remembering her father, and that both birthdays that are close to each other. She might also have the same anxiety following the adult life: is this the life I wanted at this age? Am I the person the younger me would be right now?
Aging can be a curse and a privilege. For Calum, though, it's something he'll never get to look forward to. For both him and Sophie, he's frozen in his 30s.
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Aftersun is a movie that may not be my initial go-to watch list, but I'm glad I watched it. It was so thought-provoking and delivers a new look at memories, aging, mental health, and parenting. The vibe is almost upbeat, but it doesn't shy away from the melancholy tone it originally clings to, making it one of the saddest movies when you finished it.