It's one of the puzzles of navigating through adolescence that, before a hopeful promising few years to come, one of the humanly feelings that we may start to develop is love. It can be lovely, or notably agressive - causing a set of unyielding destructive behavior. Out go our previous innocence and in come selfishness, lust. All we seem to do is pursuing the glittery life of being in a romantic relationship, flirting, or going out more with friends.
We might wonder if it's the right thing to do or even just a one-time thing. One certainty about it, though, that it is natural. Perhaps we've been shaped wrong to look at it as something to be shameful, that we are in the wrong and to blame just to feel it. Maybe we don't know there is another way, appropriately, to live it not being punished just because being in love is not something the older people did not expect us to be. After watching the Netflix's Adolescence I had a mixed reaction and got reminded again what it felt to be in love, helpless, and anything in between.
Adolescence revolves around Callum, a 13-year old boy who turned his and the lives of other people upside down by being arrested for committing a murder on his schoolmate. (Spoiler) During the first episode, we were given the impression that this young lad could never be able of such a crime, but as we followed through the series, all we got from him was only him saying, "I did nothing wrong", instead of, "I did nothing" to claim his innocence. Interesting, right, because people perceive things differently especially when there is a history of powerlessness.
Episode 3, by the way, was my favorite. There were layers and experiences from a simple set with Jamie and his psychologist at the ward, and I think how she finally broke down to tears at the end was multifaceted and important to the whole storyline. Jamie found it tricky that the psychologist was only trying to understand how Jamie understands things. It was overall a full of emotional turmoil since one by one reasons were getting unraveled - we were also brought to lose faith in the lead character because of the realization of his overwhelming true nature and dark mindset.
My friend, Arum's, favorite episode was the finale. She said that the scene reflected how one action can affect many and that grief is something we can't reject when it comes to dealing with the inability to face failure. One memorable part was when Jamie's dad said, "I should have done better" in Jamie's room. To think that it took place in where it all began was nothing but heartbreaking.
"What was I when I was 13?" I look back to what could have been during that time - turn out still leave me with no answer. The killing in my scenario, though, is that I was made believe that falling in love is a sin.
Then again, how on earth could this feeling proven problematic? Many years later, I realize that it maybe because, in one of the truly oddest-sounding phenomena of love, it gives us a sense of strength and regaining back our power in life, and at a very young age, this power could lead into something dangerous. It's the kindness of some people who let me be expressive with love, but it's also their inclination to my embrace of its emergence, that culminate into this appalling combination creating a perfect condition in which a hurt party will build up a rage delivered in any ways. My resentment towards the disappointing society winds up as a peculiar, but relatable feeling, to what huge and deep tragedy that Jamie had done in the film.
I have no conclusion here but an insight about enormous, but boundaried compassion. A person who seems acting up still deserves love - they just have no clue to transmit it. One day, the destructive and destructed sides will find the truth about protecting people in love in the kindest way. "I see you", "Thank you for loving me", "Apologies for trying to send you off for showing affections to me". Angels will be weeping in the skies up above with this celebration of love.