At first, I thought Project Hail Mary would be a serious, complicated sci-fi movie. I might be leaving feeling dumb or not being able to keep up, but entertained. Turned out, I felt at home.
And I cried. A lot.
Mission: Save Humans (or humanity?)
People with anxiety are some of the bravest people out there. Always scared, but always getting out of bed because scared is the baseline and there are stuff to do.
It is super relatable, and I found this too in the movie main character, Dr. Grace Ryland.
High-performing anxiety people got out of bed then went to function right away. Think. Work. Solve problems. It may seem productive, great, and all, but we are worried inside. You may ask why, but this is the only way we know to survive. We know that only by being useful, we are accepted.
When Dr. Grace woke up from the coma-induced sleep during his travel from Earth to space, he operated like that.
Being still under the influence of a memory-loss drug, he went on right away. He was smart and determined by nature, and we assumed that he was sent for this mission just because he was responsible, too.
In reality, by all means, we and Dr. Grace will do anything, even when we don’t want to or know how to finish. People won't understand why we do it because we are just running from feeling scared and not feeling enough. Though until the end, no one notices.
And there came Rocky
At the loneliest point of his life, Dr. Grace met Rocky, a space creature coming from a planet called Erid - it is an Eridian.
For me, this is the moment when it all felt… warm. And welcoming.
Humans and Eridians are nothing alike, and we don't know if it's something sort of tool or brainiac. But we will need a Rocky as companion.
On the discourse of the relationship between Dr. Grace and Rocky, I heard a lot about how hope has became its foundation. What I took away from this unusual interaction, on the other hand, is the longing for a sense to belong.
On Earth, Dr. Grace was terribly isolated when he was surrounded by people. He’s always been taken for granted and was never really seen. So he embraced Rocky like a family.
Strange, huh, to be in a point where we feel the most fit, but with an otherworldly different species that will actually treat us better than any humans ever did. But that’s the exact moment he found the connection he had been craving for; an end to his deep longing.
Maybe, it’s not a mission to save Earth after all. The movie is very personal and emotional. It is to find us in someone/something else. It’s to see that we are not so weird for others.
When we are so used to being strong
What made me start breaking down in tears is the story about Rocky losing his crew. 23 members were lost/deceased (there were a total of 24 Eridians sent for this mission, including Rocky), and it said it could not fix the situation. (i also read somewhere that Rocky has been lonely in space for 46 years Earth time)
Rocky's not just wandering by itself. It is desperately waiting for someone/something that answers. Aloneness in the void is a strong metaphor for how we’ll still look for meaning, even where there is no one or nothing around for us to prove. Aren’t we all like that?
Most of the time, we remain strong, dependable and seem fine to survive and stay safe. But that’s tiring and hurtful, especially when we realize we still don’t have a place/somewhere to belong even when we already try to be perfect.
That is also why the ending hits hard.
[SPOILER] Dr. Grace was awakened from his sleep in the beginning of his journey back to Earth by a warning of contamination. He quickly came to his mind that it would also put Rocky in danger.
And with the limitation of Rocky’s knowledge and awareness about radiation, Rocky might die alone in space. He would just suffer in pain slowly without understanding what happened because no one could tell him what was wrong.
To go for this mission, of course Rocky was one of a kind Eridian. The case of it and Dr. Grace was similar: They went sent because they were the ones that others can count on. Sadly, that’s exactly why they had to endure everything to the extreme level.
Once Dr. Grace realized that Rocky needed him, everything shifted.
Dr. Grace gave up the opportunity to go back to Earth by coming to save Rocky instead. He didn’t do it to make him heroic. It’s a very human thing to do when we finally know what it's like to have a home: in someone, in a figure that accepts us and loses us when we’re gone. (the thought of Rocky dying still haunts me to this day, btw)
Sacrifice was no longer a burden. This time, he used his conscience. Since then, he was no longer afraid in space, or of failing. He was willing to go because he had something worth fighting for. Somewhere in the blackest side of space, two broken hearts were not abandoning each other. (that Eridian gesture of “goodbye” and hug, ðŸ˜)
The protagonist in Project Hail Mary is every one of us who has been functioning just to be seen ok, and for everyone who’s struggling in silence. And it is to show how the smallest bond in an unlikely environment is essential to help us realize: “oh, how happy it is to not be alone.”
Final Verdict: 5/5 no note
The visual effect is particularly amazing, and the musical score is spectacular. I would recommend to enjoy it from the movies for a more moving experience on the close-up shot and magical portrayal of spaceship.