Self care isn't selfish

It may sound cliché, but self-love is very important. Sometimes, people try to search someone or something in order to feel complete and loved. Boyfriend, girlfriend, getting promotion, being rich, all of those points have the potential to distract us from what's most important that is love from within. I don’t neglect the importance having someone who loves us or something we love, I just started to look deeper than it. Accepting ourselves first is way more fulfilling. And having self-love isn’t an act of selfishness at all.

Last September, I graduated from college. Various thoughts of what’s probably coming next is haunting me, including finding a job, working with people, settling down in a company, building a career. The thoughts are terrifying. They are not happening yet, but I know they are coming. When I first made aware of this, I did not know yet how to react. I just try not to feel stressed. I try not to feel pressured. One thing I know is I should just getting prepared.

I thought, “Real life is starting very soon”. Sure, I have some other plans like going to more seminars or workshops, and learning from online courses, but I think going to work right after college is exactly the phase in life. The absurdity of this situation is very real and uncomfortable. I finally have to live on my own. The effect of this reality come crashing on me was probably I start to get anxious easily. I once had panic attack, and I totally didn’t feel well some other times.

Then, I realized that if things keep on going this way, I’d know damn well I would lose myself and precious moments in the present. I’m going to always be in panic mode before really functioning to even do house chores or go outside and have fun. That’s when I made the decision to let it all flow and accept the fact that I’m still figuring things out. I might get a job sooner or later, but I rather enjoy this exact phase.

Accepting my flaws and loving myself first allow me to move past most of my worries. I start focusing on being a good kid and friend. I start focusing more on me and the time I’m living right now. I devoted more time to discover new music and movies, make-up products, and other things I find myself interested in. I make myself sure this isn’t denial. In fact, this is freedom. And I give myself a huge chance to love myself first and more before anything else.

Nobody knows what’ll be coming next. Realizing this makes me sure that I am the one I should focus on first and not rely on other things that are still unclear. I am still working on loving myself, though, and I bet this is a lifetime process. I just wish I’d always make time for the important things, rather than those I fear happening. Growing this self-love is the best that I can do right now and I believe this isn’t selfish at all.