+Life updates ✧

 Happy 2023!

Because I am more of a visual person, I want to write something like a TedTalk - kinda, but it's a blog post. I want to talk about what happened in 2022 and we'll put out into the universe for the new year. Whatever we would've wanted to happen in 2023, let's keep in mind about them.

I'm not big on manifesting. I thought I've done it but it failed (things I manifested on didn't happen), or so that I haven't done it quite correctly or properly. I guess this year is the right time to start doing it right because I saw many people start manifesting on crazy things and they happen.

So, welcome again to my, hopefully not a boring kind of tedtalk or blog post about 2022 and life updates.

I turned 27. I still live in a budget plan (tee-hee). 2022 was a lot; I don't know if I'm the only one who felt like that or the whole world also felt that 2022 was overwhelming. By a lot I mean a lot LOT that happened, but I guess they were just probably some continuations from 2021.

If you also remember it correctly, the Corona pandemic broke out in March 2020. While I personally got vaccinated (double shots) in 2021, the pandemic has gotten more easily spread out in early 2022. Not to mention the whole 2021 being one of the worst years of my life, where I developed GERD.

(Please note that I don't intend to be dramatic on this personal life event. I know some of you must've had to survive harder during the hard times, and I'll always have my thoughts and prayers if you lost your loved ones due to the illness and such)

I got infected with Covid in March 2022. I was in absolute devastation. I didn't go out much, and when I did. I kept wearing my masks, used hand sanitizers, basically was very obedient to the health protocols. 

Everything was fine until I had sore throat, an initial symptom I had never experienced even when I got flu or cough throughout my life. To get the message that I was positive for Covid, I just had so many questions and need to blame things. 

Throughout the week, I still had my mother who was relatively healthy and I was grateful for that. My only focus was to only recover myself and help her stay fit. 

2022 was year of realization of many things.

There was one day where I was home, but I didn't know who I was, what to do or what I was doing. I felt depressed. It was either spending some days filling them up by getting busy with works, or just laying on the bed not sleeping. That was because I didn't want to face the world and be reminded of how sad I was and that was SO SAD. I never talked about this so far, but I genuinely realized this stuff needs to be talked about. Every single person in the world goes through it. Why are we all gatekeeping the fact that we are humans and we go through things like this. 

It sucks. Sometimes, life SUCKS. But the great thing also about life is that, more other times, it gets back to being great again very quickly.

Thanks to many other people as well who make me realize there's still a life ahead of me. I was just dealing with broken heart, my life was changing in so many literal different ways. I was lost until I decided to start opening up and sharing more with some of the closest people around me. I remember a while ago I also decided to be more proactive to talk with a therapist, but it didn't go quite well so I'll just give it a time for another chance.

The whole decision to talk to other people was really hard in my circumstances because I was raised in a family where we don't talk about, let alone acknowledge feelings. It's always been repressed in the first place; I was just required to act like everything was fine, though it's not. From then on, if I was angry I should acknowledge the feeling that I am annoyed. If I felt like crying or laughing, I will. And it got easier. If it was as simple as singing along to a song or going around the place feeling the wind, as lame as they sound. They helped me a lot! Little by little, I tried to embrace the world and most importantly, be more open and true with myself, and I started feeling better about who I am and what I'm gonna do with my life. Doing yoga, hitting the gym, started swimming again, visiting new places, and trying out more new things have been great outlets for me to express all I've been going through in one of the hardest year of my life.

If you're going through similar case with your life, I'm terrible sorry that it happened to you. I'm sorry that it doesn't seem fair or right. It must've been hard to feel like yourself when you've got through much in life, but we are not alone. There must still be someone out there who really love and care about you, even if it's just a cat. 

I want us to be happy. I was on a path that was very bad for my physique and mentality, but I'm glad I find people now who help me turn that around. Even 2022 was another year that sucked, I'll just still hope for 2023 being a kind of a little brighter side of a tunnel. Starting from myself - I've been feeling comfortable with my solitary and I'm in a better place now about myself. I'm sending so much love to you reading wherever you are.

Lastly, manifestations for the new year: In 2023, I want to treasure and nurture the good relationship that I already had with some of very previous people in my life, and I just want this year to have a lot of fun and be easy since the world has gone crazy for too long now. Positive energy <3 in 2023 <3 this is going to be a year worth living and telling! It's going to get better!1

Cheers to growing together and being the best version of ourselves. Here's to attracting everything good and positive throughout the year. We got this! I believe in us (: